Harden Off Your Pussy Ass Plants

I've got these green beans. They're growing inside pretty well so I think, "hey, you fucking beans! Let's go outside!"

So I bring them outside and they start to shit. More like shrivel up.

Turns out there's this thing called Hardening Off. The idea is that you don't take your pussified seedlings outside or they will shit themselves. Just like you, right? You're all like, "Daredevil on Netflix is awesome! Why did you bring me outside!?!? I'm shitting myself!"

So, after starting your seedlings and they're looking pretty good, you bring them outside for about an hour a day. Because they don't know what wind is. Seriously. No more than 1 hour for the first week. Or you can get a little fan to move their pansy leaves around. Not too much or they will shit themselves.