Why Is My Doctor An Idiot?

Dr. Spaceman is an idiot
To be clear, my general practitioner is not an idiot. I spent years. Fucking Years! Going from this Dr. to that Dr. before finally finding TWO people in the same office who are not idiots or assholes. I'm 40! It took all my life!

But your doctor is probably an idiot. He or she is probably fucking up your health and guess what? It's probably your fault. Think about this.

2 out of 3 adults and 1 out of 3 children are overweight or obese, right?

You go to your doctor. Your doctor says, "Hey, asshole. Lose some weight or you'll be one of the 25+ million Americans with type 2 diabetes."

And then you turn your doctor into an idiot. You ask, "How do I lose weight?" What the fuck makes you think that your doctor is qualified to answer that question?


  • Zero medical schools in the United States require nutrition classes (some have it as an elective). 
  • Zero medical schools in the United States require Physical Education (actual education, not dodge-ball). 
  • Zero medical schools in the United States requite training in fat loss or muscle gain.

You are asking the guy changing your oil for tips on playing guitar. Maybe that guy knows how to play guitar, but he didn't learn it changing oil. He learned it because it was something he wanted to learn, not because it was required for his job.

Doctors are really well trained at diagnosing certain diseases and conditions. They know a lot about prescription drugs and basic human biology and chemistry. Maybe your doctor is an amazing brain specialist. Would you ask her why your toe keeps getting corns or would you ask her about brains?

One of the reasons why my doctor is not an idiot is because when I come in with crazyass questions (which I do with some frequency) she doesn't pretend she knows the answers.

Me: What do you know about the current science behind cold thermogenisis?

Dr. Awesome: What? Nothing.

Me: I'm thinking of spending 8 weeks wearing an ice vest.

Dr. Awesome: Cool. How can I help?

This is the perfect response. She plays the "Yes, and..." game and wants to know the results.

If you want to know how to eat better, depending on your goals, you should ask a dietitian or a nutritionist or a health coach. If you ask your doctor for nutrition advice instead of asking someone qualified, you're kind of an idiot. If your doctor starts giving you nutrition advice beyond "let me refer you to someone qualified to answer," you're doctor is probably an idiot.