Today we ask: why are crossfitters assholes?
According to the Urban Dictionary, a crossfitter is:
A person who likes to be average at everything, and good at nothing. A person who exercises often, so that they can get better at exercise. Someone who puts in many hours of effort, without understanding the difference between training and exercise.So, it's not just me, folks. Other folks don't like these folks. You folks want a quick overview?
Crossfit is an exercise sport/program/style/cult that creates in the initiate a sense of fevered zealotry. Not without good cause, to be fair. Unlike the infighting that can occur within Star Wars and NFL nerd communities, when it comes time to perform, crossfitters tend to shut the fuck up and do the work while grunting, farting, and screaming (Star Wars and NFL fans also grunt, fart, and scream, but usually don't get much done). If you are committed to the philosophy and the lifestyle of crossfit, you are all in. This is your home now. Seriously. Sit the fuck back down.
And I'll tell you what, a community that is super supportive and full of accountability is pretty awesome. People that are emotionally committed to telling you what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, and how to behave is fucking awesome!
The tangible result of this community is that crossfitters are a lot like Mary Kay representatives, and not just because they're pink on the inside. If you make the mistake of asking them about their shit, their eyes get wide and they start to pull out the duct tape, planning out the most discrete route to the trunk of their car.
In short, they become assholes. Consider this recent Facebook conversation.
Crossfitter: CROSSFIT IS JEASEUS AZ EXERSIZE!!! I WILL COME GET YOU AND CROSSFIT YOU INTO MY GYM!!!
Me(dumbass actually responding): Well, because you're just getting started, maybe you should meet with a trainer to talk about your specific goals.
Crossfitter: FUCKYOU SHITHEAD TALKING SHIT ABOUT CROSSFIT IS JESUSS!!!!!ITS THE OLY EXERSIZE YOU NEED!!!!
And then I block the feed.
This is what can make anyone an asshole.
This is why many crossfitters are assholes.
Tomorrow's article: Why Crossfit Is Fucking Awesome
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