Why Are Crossfitters Assholes?

Welcome to Crossfit Week here on Eating Moving Living! We will go over everything you need to know about this shit. The good (there is some!), the bad (there is lots!), and the ugly (the whooo!). Hell yeah!

Article 1.

Today we ask: why are crossfitters assholes?



According to the Urban Dictionary, a crossfitter is:
A person who likes to be average at everything, and good at nothing. A person who exercises often, so that they can get better at exercise. Someone who puts in many hours of effort, without understanding the difference between training and exercise.
So, it's not just me, folks. Other folks don't like these folks. You folks want a quick overview?

Crossfit is an exercise sport/program/style/cult that creates in the initiate a sense of fevered zealotry. Not without good cause, to be fair. Unlike the infighting that can occur within Star Wars and NFL nerd communities, when it comes time to perform, crossfitters tend to shut the fuck up and do the work while grunting, farting, and screaming (Star Wars and NFL fans also grunt, fart, and scream, but usually don't get much done). If you are committed to the philosophy and the lifestyle of crossfit, you are all in. This is your home now. Seriously. Sit the fuck back down.

And I'll tell you what, a community that is super supportive and full of accountability is pretty awesome. People that are emotionally committed to telling you what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, and how to behave is fucking awesome!

The tangible result of this community is that crossfitters are a lot like Mary Kay representatives, and not just because they're pink on the inside. If you make the mistake of asking them about their shit, their eyes get wide and they start to pull out the duct tape, planning out the most discrete route to the trunk of their car.

In short, they become assholes. Consider this recent Facebook conversation.

My Friend Posts: I'm joining a gym! Going to get healthy and lose some weight. What's better, cardio or weight lifting?

Crossfitter: CROSSFIT IS JEASEUS AZ EXERSIZE!!! I WILL COME GET YOU AND CROSSFIT YOU INTO MY GYM!!!

Me(dumbass actually responding): Well, because you're just getting started, maybe you should meet with a trainer to talk about your specific goals.

Crossfitter: FUCKYOU SHITHEAD TALKING SHIT ABOUT CROSSFIT IS JESUSS!!!!!ITS THE OLY EXERSIZE YOU NEED!!!!

And then I block the feed.

Now, crossfitters are not the only assholes in the world of nutrition and fitness. I've talked shit about other groups in the past and will do the same about more in the future (yea!). Crossfitters are pretty distinct, though. They are an organized group that has as one of their core talking points that your exercise is bullshit and their exercise is the one true path to the Lord. And just like other weird religious organizations (vegans, CJCLDS), I'm usually fine with it as long as they stick to good works and words in public. But you don't start a conversation with "did you know that your thing is shit and my thing is Jesus?"

This is what can make anyone an asshole.

This is why many crossfitters are assholes.




Tomorrow's article: Why Crossfit Is Fucking Awesome

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