Bootcamps Are Bullshit. Maybe.

I'm on this weird quest. Going from avoiding exercise as if it was, well, exercise, to going after my Personal Trainer certification has been a very strange transition. One of the side effects has been this desire to experience different forms of workouts and routines so that I can understand what I'm talking about.


A friend of mine works at a gym where, among other things, he teaches a Bootcamp. He was all like, "Hey! Do this!" And I was all like, "Uh, I don't know." Then the head trainer said, "Hey! Here's a free pass. Do it!" And I was like, "Uh, okay."

I don't think that a play-by-play of the exact exercises is necessarily a trade secret, but it kind of seems like since they worked on designing the hour, maybe I should only use a few specifics. And, since this is the only Bootcamp I've attended, your local one might be quite different. Here's how it went.
The class (maybe 40ish people) started by running around the parking lot for, I don't know, 8-10 minutes? I don't enjoy running. I actually hate running. Whatever, I did it and was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't too out of breath at the end.

Then we broke into groups. Each group went to a station for 2 minutes and then switched until we had hit each station. The stations were things like, handstand against the wall and hold a plank for as long as you can. By the time we got to the end, I was Gad Damn tired. Then we did something else that for the life of me I can't remember. Then we did the stations again. Then we stretched. Then an hour had passed and we went home all sweaty and gross.

Leaving, I felt pretty good. I accomplished some physical shit that hadn't crossed my mind in years or forever. Cool.

The next day I felt horrible. Total trash. My ankle hurt and I had a limp. My knee hurt and cracked. My lower back hurt and sitting was uncomfortable. My shoulder hurt and it was hard to move it. Did I have any joints that weren't in crap shape? Yes. My fingers and toes.

 Here's the thing about exercise: that muscle burn you get when you've done some work? Awesome. Maybe it hurts for a couple days, but it's the feeling of progress. You know that something is happening and changing. All of your joints feeling like shit the next day? Fuck that.

For me, Bootcamps are bullshit. I am not a high-impact guy. Whatever goodwill and sense of accomplishment I had upon completion turned into anger, stubbornness, and resentment the next day when I was in actual pain.

Here's the other thing: that's fine. I don't know how many different classes and styles and theories and variations of working out there are, but at minimum, there are a shit ton. I don't like Bootcamps. Okay. What else is there? You don't like jogging? Welcome to the club. What do you like? Swimming? Go swimming then.




Using a bad experience doing one thing as an excuse to quit everything is, you know, bullshit.